To Him

Happy Birthday, Alex! :)

Long live Alex Skyline!!!!

how

How can you be sure? How could you know? How can't you feel?
How can you be alive if he's not there? How can you still keep thinking? How can everything be a mess?
Hell

And now what?

There I was - waiting. I was waiting for something to happen. I was claiming that whenever it happened, I wouldn't need anything else. Now it's here and I haven't stopped needing - quite on the contrary. I keep needing; more than before. The feeling is that the needs have increased in the same proportion to the loss of the self.

My personal drive has gone awry, though, from time to time, it shows its tip on the surface. And that's precisely when an avalanche hits my head, and I feel the urge to change the whole thing again - the revolving side of revolution.

And now what?

There's a blank space, longing to be filled. I write it down, and erase it right away. I write it back again, erase again. And now what? I know the answer, but I don't want to give it.

And now what?

I was flat out wrong. Actually, I knew, each time I said that, I knew. I knew it was untrue. Still, I kept repeating it and well, somebody out there heard, and, most of all, believed me. Then, I was given what I asked for. And the only thing I keep asking myself, now, is: "And now what?"

How love should be

Flowers for my heart, tender words,
And a gentle touch that says so much
This is how I've heard that love should always be.
Love light in his eyes, he'll look at me
And in one bright moment, I will see
That all my dreams of love are just as love should be.
I have dreamed that he will give me wings to fly,
And give my soul a taste of paradise,
That I will feel the magic of romance,
By his side.
There'll be music in my head when I hear him say,
That he loves me now and everyday,
This is how I've heard that love should always be.
I will feel the magic of romance,
By his side.
No matter how long it takes to find him,
I will let my dreams remind me,
That somewhere out there he's waitin for me...
Just waiting to show me how love should
Be.
Show me, show me how love should be.

And there goes Reka Toth the gentle wEiRd-FiSh on the road...

F#@%king grass... always f#@%king greener...

F#@%king grass is always greener on the others side!

Just got be kidding me, I water this shit and when I think will get green I look around...

We are never satisfied with out own garden, why?

Don't know what kind of plants I want in my garden, then I decided to give grass a go

But look around! I'm not saying mine is not green

It's just not the greener

My life is great!

Is it?

Do I have all I want?

Right, I got what I need. But does it make my life great?

No It just makes it better than the life of some few people who are suffering for all I already got.

It's so hard not to compare, but on the other hand is necessary...

Oh gosh!

I need to be set free from myself, just found out I'm my worst enemy!

BlueHearted People

You know that day the only thing you need

Is to get a call from a friend saying HI

But noone seems to be there for you

That day you just want a nice smile from anybody

Then you start to wonder about with no destination 

And you decide to look for that special place of yours

That secret place, a corner in the middle of the city where all the noise goes away

A place known only by you and the other bluehearted people

It's somewhere on a side street

There is a bench there where you can sit down and watch your life passing by

Let the loneliness and decepctions of your days pass by your eyes

As if you were only audience watching a play

So, on the time arms, it goes by and you can finally feel free

Ready to keep up with your days until happiness comes around once again

But then you reach that place, that special and secret side street

You find out the bench where all that magic could happen has been removed

It's all fucked!

If you are having days like that or if today was one of those

You are not alone, I'm with you.

When...

When you don't know just feel it
When it's Love not hate
When it doesn't rain just shines
When not from sheet (music) just by heart
When it's coming not going

When you give not get
When not black-and-white but colours
When you smell, hear, taste, see
When you're alive
When smile and sing and dance
When the whole World is for you

It fell down on me

Testing one, two... Testing one, two...

Wordless, soundless, speechless, mouthless. Less.
Fearful, thoughtful, dreadful, watchful. Full.

Still. Observe. Picture. One, Two, Three... Twenty four frames per second. Motion. Picture. Testing one, two...

Mic. Hold. Speak. Speakers. Tape. Rec. Three minutes, radio-jukebox dream...Testing one, two...

Here comes the piano, black and white -- 60's pudding. It's coming all the way down, right through my head.

Post Scriptum: Yes. It did...It did fall... It did fall down on...It fell down on me.

Words

It's not from me because as you see I can't write (I don't have the talent for it). But I love that song and I love that lyric. It means to me almost everything. The group which sings it called The Real Group. And here you are. Enjoy it:

Just to give you an idea... (Alex Skyline)

Words
A letter and a letter on a string
Will hold forever humanity spellbound

Words
Possession of the beggar and the king
Everybody, everyday
You and I, we all can say

Words
Regarded as a complicated tool
Created by man, implicated by mankind

Words
Obsession of the genius and the fool
Everybody, everyday,
Everywhere and everyway

Words!
Find them, you can use them
Say them, you can hear them
Write them, you can read them
Love them, fear them

Words
Transmitted as we're fitted from the start
Received by all and we're sentenced to a life with

Words
Impression of the stupid and the smart
Everybody, everyday
You and I, we all can say

Words
Inside your head can come alive as they're said
Softly, loudly, modestly or proudly

Words
Expression by the living and the dead
Everybody, everyday
Everywhere and everyway

Words!
Find them, you can use them
Say them, you can hear them
Write them, you can read them
Love them, fear them

AMIZADES - FRIENDSHIPS

Indiscutivelmente os amigos são um reflexo de nossa personalidade, a família que escolhemos como afirma Richard Bach em Fernão Capelo Gaivota.

Unquestionably friends are our personality concequence, "the family we choose" says Richard Bach in Fernão Capelo Gaivota.

Minhas amizades diferem de grupos, tipos, estilos e as estimo exatamente por essa alteridade, diferença necessária às relações que nascem nas afinidades, alimentam-se na cumplicidade e crescem na confiança assumindo a extensão do que é justo, sólido e inabalável.

My fiendships differ from groups to groups, types, styles and it's exactly becouse of these differences I esteem them so, differences that are needed to the relationships born in the affinities, fed with cumplicity and grown in confidence assuming the extention of what is fair, solid, stable.

Ultimamente tenho sido imprevisível, estranho, mas aberto ao surpreendente e isso tem me feito amadurer, pois aprendi a reconhecer o valor das situações e como devo agir diante delas, independente do rumo e barco tomados.

I've lattely been unpredictable, weird, but open to the unexpectable and that has made me grow coz I learnt to realize the value of each situation and how to act face to them, independently of the taken route and boat.

Compreendi que alguns amigos, reais ou nãos, podem estar distante fisicamente, mas emocionalmente presentes. São especiais, ímpares, a ponto de notar em caracteres digitados ou sorrisos amarelos as emoções, alegrias e medos expostos além das expressões faciais.

I comprehended that some friends, real or virtuals, can may be distante fisicaly, but they are present emotionally. They are special, uneven, singulars to the point of notice through typed characters, yellow smiles and emoctions the real emoctions (feelings), the joy and fears displayed beyond the facial expressions.

Fernando Pessoa escreveu que “o valor das coisas não está no tempo em que elas duram, mas na intensidade com que acontecem. Por isso existem momentos inesquecíveis, coisas inexplicáveis e pessoas incomparáveis", nada mais cabível a análise dos últimos posts, que sensívelmente tratam de valores pessoais e da importância que os amigos assumem em nossas vidas.

Fernado Pessoa wrote: "the value of the things doesn't rely in the time they last, but in the intensity with which they happen. Therefore there are unforgetable moments, unexplicable things and incomparable people", nothing suits more to (my) analysis of the last posts, that sensibly deal with personal values and the importance of friendship in our lives.

O poema With your excuse Luv, I can't silence postado pelo Skyline é um verdadeiro ode aos sentimentos plainados pela força de uma amizade. É algo que me sensibilizou sobre a extensão, intensidade e influência dos meus amigos.

The Poem "Whith your excuse Luv, I can't silece" posted by Skyline is a true **PARTS MISSING** to the feelings that flows by the strenght of a friendship. It is something that moved (sensetized) me for its extension, intensity and my friends influence.

Não tenho palavras para definir as representações e construções imagéticas para onde fui remetido ! Pensei intensamente no Alex, na forma que nos aproximamos e o modo que mesmo distantes nos protagonizamos. Na Camila, a mulher de personalidade marcante (prevista no Astral on line), companheira de risos, lágrimas, angústias e de quem não temo ouvir críticas e dizer que amo. No Lucas, uma jóia rara, uma descoberta homeopática que só tem me feito bem e de quem, a despeito da geografia, não pretendo afastar-me. Léo, mutante social e um cara que admiro incondicionalmente. Leda, a mulher rabugenta mais amada do mundo. Tati, Lucicarlo e várias outras pessoas que atualmente se descortinam.

I have no words to define the representations and imaginary constructions I've been sent to! I intensily thought of Alex, on the way we met and approached and of the way even distant we carried on. I thought of Camila, the woman of remarkable personality (foreseen on the Atral on line), friend for laughts and tears, distress and from who I fear neither critics nor to say I love you. I thought of Lucas, a rare jowel, a homeopathic discovery that has made me only good and from whom, despite of the geography, I don't intend to get away from. Leo, social mutant and a guy I admire inconditionally. Leda, the most loved grumpy woman in the world. Tati, Lucicarlo and many other people that currently disclosed (themselves to me).

Assim como Skyline, ainda acredito no surpreendente, no elemento surpresa, no poder emocional que as pessoas detêm e cativam.Cansei de Nietzche !!

As well as Skyline, I still believe in the unexpectable, the surprise element, in the emotional power that people hold (withhold) and captivete. I'm fed up of Nietzche!!

"We become the story we tell about ourselves."

Yesterday I was reading this book, given to me by a friend, two years ago. I was meant to read this book in London, but I never did. I brought it all along, to every new house I moved in.

This year, I finally started reading it, and it's been a month now. It's called "A Home at the End of the World", by Michael Cunningham.

It's a truly beautiful romance, very well written, poetically lyrical.

So, yesterday there was this thing a character said that made me stop and think about it. "We become the stories we tell about ourselves." Bingo! That's it! We're nothing but the script we write for ourselves. We become the actors we ourselves direct. Some believe in destiny, and prefer passing all the responsibility over their lives to a greater divine force, justifying mistakes and fears. It's not that I don't believe there is such a force, but I think we can control that force and direct it towards where we want. This force is neutral and takes you wherever you please--it's all a matter of choice.

Each choice involves rights and wrongs. For every choice there is a loss and a gain and both are interchangeable.

Now, going back to the script thing...I do believe we become the story we tell about ourselves, especially when I think about my life. I can pretty much picture all the scripts I wrote and rewrote for myself. There are three stages. When you're unhappy about the character you've been playing, you start planning and writing a new one. When it's done, you start directing it and it seems a bit fake in the beginning, as if not working. But after a while, you forget about the direction and you start acting freely, without any further support, and then it comes to the point when you forget about the precise words that were in the script or the stage directions and you become the character itself and you live that way... up to the time you get tired again and you decide to tell yourself some other story about yourself.

Sometimes you change the stage, the theater, the other actors to work with... Sometimes you keep playing the same play and the same role for years and years.

All I say is... good actors are multi-faced and they acknowledge that by playing different roles they're learning and feeling more, in different ways... and fundamentally keeping up the passion for life.

Some others, for fear, never leave their comfort zone and prefer playing it safe.

I don't play it safe. I play it dangerous.

Cheers!

Szeretlek!

With your excuse Luv, I can't silence

The words just left me completely alone now

Can't say anything

All I know is that we have ourselves

We know we can count on each other

And we do count on each other

We do have lots of stories together...

I love that picture

I do coz that is a symbol for me

A symbol of a life changing

After that night all turned different

We were fucking drunk

Couldn't walk or talk properly

But we managed to walk, shivering but laughing

Crossing the city from north to south

All the way south the river

To have a hell of a night

First everything felt into the white and coldness of the snow

After that all disappeared

Then started to show some focusless black and white

And after all

The colours turned back again

Even my colourblindness seams to have disappeared

Life has colours now

And every time I feel blue, black, green, yellow, red...

Or whatever the colour

There're always the colours of your smile and the notes of your voice

To light up and balance the world around

And at the end, all the words

They are not enough

They don't make any justice

They can't express a 100th part of what we have

At the end

You are right

The only word is really Szeretlek!

Alex-weird fish-Skyline

Ok, now I wanted to write something of you. But I can't. I was thinking of a good story we have or a great moment but I can't choose 'cause all of our stories are important for me. I love we can laugh a lot together, cry together, just be together.
I'm sorry but don't have the words. I have just one for you: Szeretlek!

Smile

You have a bad day. Everything is wrong. You think noone likes you, noone cares for you. And than the miracle's just knocking: your friend calles you. That friend you couldn't meet for 3 months. He just calles you to tell your birthday message made his day and he's free for the night. You have to answer him you can't today but you'll have off next week. Thanks God he has on the same day, so you have a deal: you'll spend that day together.
You can't stop smiling :) Even if you have to work and top up those glasses 'cause you know there's a person who likes you and missed you. You finish your work have your bottle of wine and don't want to go home. So you walk a bit and smile. And you're surprised: the people on the street smile back.
This happened to me today. I know it's not a big thing but when you're down those calls, messages, winks, smiles you don't expect can make the world alive again.

Little boy, little boy, lost and blue

Alex Skyline. It was by noon on a cold day, under the rain, when I first spoke to this boy whose eyes lay upon the weirdness and vague happiness the city on fire could bring. Sparkles of joy and laughter blended with uncertainty. Whatever his eyes were reflecting--this is what I fell for. On the corner of Old Compton Street, he used to squeeze his eyes as if to cry, as people would pass by.
Bars of chocolate, spaghetti, Stella Artois, candies, and dreams. Stories, confusions, theories about the world. He offered me a white flower and white baking powder on the way to a nameless club somewhere near Old Street. In the end, our lives were saved by shots of tequila.
He fried me eggs, I cooked him pasta. I used to talk for long hours about my loneliness while washing the dishes. He listened. He was there.
Burger King was the spot. What if women were the rulers of the world? Talks about women and men, gays and lesbians, Arabs and Indians, western and eastern, idiots and people. People. We have something in common: we both love people. We love too much. Lovers and losers. This was the party we had to sell, and we were indeed walking banners of the party.
Sometimes we were like a couple of two old guys. We had lots of arguments. Strangeness. It's by the arguments we had, and the ability to forget about them--coz they never mattered anyway--that I say it was love. At least for me. I can say it still is.
I miss going to Hyde Park and "feeding birds", I miss the fun, the cooperation, the arguments, the pain, Christmas's day, our days at Trash Palace, and life we shared. We were beautiful and I hope we still are.




"Magpie, was it you who stole the wedding ring?
Or what other thieving bird would steal such hope away?
Magpie, i am lost among the hinterland,
caught among the bracken and the fern,
and the boys who have no name.

There's no name for us
But still We sing

And still we sing,
Little boy, little boy,
Lost and blue,
Listen now, let me tell you what to do,
You can run on, run along or home
Between the knees of her,
All among her bracken and her ferns,
And the boy will have a name.
And we will sing

And we will sing,
One for sorrow
Two for joy
Three for a girl
Four for a boy
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret never to be told"
(Patrick Wolf)

wEiRd FiShEs

Passeando por aqui e ali a vida me levou por caminhos

Hanging around here and there life took me through ways

Que jamais imaginei pisar

I never imagined I would go

Dos vinculos que criei

From the links I've made

Nasceram amores verdadeiros

True Lovers were born

Amizades que a distancia nao matou

Friendships that distance couldn't kill

Nem o tempo enfraqueceu

Neither time weaken

Bitter Sweet wEiRd FiSh

Coockiecut, esbarramos aqui em Pasargada

Coockiecut, we've met here in Parsagada

Menina cheia de marra, mas do bem

>>lack of words to translate, any help welcome<<

Ganhou meu coracao com o jeitinho verdadeiro de dizer as coisas

She won my heart with her cute and frank way to talk

O que antes era terra de ninguem agora e territorio marcado

What was nobody's land now Is marked territory

Coockiecut volte para Pasargada porque isso aqui e nosso!

Coockiecut come back to Pasargada coz this is all ours!

Enquanto ela nao volta

In the meantime

Vamos continuar expandindo territorio aqui

We're gonna keep expanding territory from here

Pelas ondas de sinais sateliticos da net

Through the waves and satelitic net signals

Gentle wEiRd FiSh

Reka, amor da minha vida

Reka, love of my life

Doce como nunca vi alguem em toda minha vida

The sweetest person I've ever met

O verdadeiro sentido da palavra amor aprendi com ela

The true meaning of the word Love

Sutil e terna

Subtle and tender

Tao cheia de amor que nossos olhares se cruzaram

Pure love, our sights crossed eachothers sight

Depois disso nao deu mais pra separar

After that we just couldn't help loving, just can't be apart

Meu coracao e seu, sou seu

My heart is yours, I'm yours

Com voce estou aprendendo o que significa amar de verdade

With you I'm learning what means to trully love

Docura em pessoa, letra e notas musicais

Personification of sweetness in lyrics and chords

Que todos vao conhecer aqui tambem

That everybody will also get to know here

Acid Contradicted wEiRd FiSh

LucioZion, ah meu caro Amazonic Giraffe

LucioZion, my dear Amazonic Giraffe

Companheiro para todas as horas e qualquer hora

(friend) Partner for anything at anytime

Mesmo com continentes e um oceano nos separando

Even separeted by continents and an ocean

A vida ainda nos manteem unidos por esse cordao

Life keeps us together through this bond

Ja nem sei mais como chamar

I don't even know how to name it

Amizade e tao profundo

Friendship is deep and strong

Mas ainda tao pouco para descrever esse sentimento

But still not enough to describe this feeling

A lireza prolixa e paradoxal de alcoolicos, narcolepsicos

The paradoxical and prolix lyrism of the alcohols, narcoleptic drugs

E psicotropicos impostos pela vida

And psychotropics imposed by life

Serao registradas com destreza de poeta

Will be registered with a poet accuracy

Alex Skyline?

wEiRd FiShEs